Aw. Look at them, all nervous.
I remember when I interviewed to be your assistant.
So, that's the group HR sent me, huh? Kind of a motley-looking crew.
I only talked to them for a little while, but I really like Gavin.
Which one's he?
(EXHALES) I don't want to do this interview today.
I'm starting to feel queasy.
Maybe because you're eating
chocolate-covered pretzels for breakfast.
DANIEL: Thanks, I would have eaten the whole bag.
Whoo!
(CHUCKLES) See? Which one of those goobers is gonna do that for me?
Hey, not too long ago, I was one of those goobers.
All right, promise me you're gonna pick someone good.
- I promise. - Good.
Now, do you need anything else?
Actually, fact-checking, I know you're swamped.
Come on, what kind of editor would I be
if I couldn't do a little fact-checking? Add it to my pile.
All of it by 2:00? No problemo.
Wow, that's a lot of red ink, but I'm happy to redo it!
Japanese to English? I look forward to the challenge.
Wow, look at that giant pile.
I know, and it's carrying all those papers!
Ignoring and rising above.
What's wrong, Betty? Now that you're a big fancy editor,
you don't even talk to the little people?
Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over your loud shirt.
(BOTH GASPING)
Did you just...
Fashion smack by Suarez. Unexpected.
Unlike you, Betty, I look great in jewel tones.
- What's with the 'tude? - Well, I've tried being nice to you,
but since my promotion, all you do is insult me and sabotage me.
So, I'm done with you.
(GRUNTS)
- I really like this side of her. - Do you mind?
(BOTH EX CLAIMING)
- Sorry. - No, no, no, it was my bad.
But, here, here, let me help.
Oh, I was wondering if you had any feature ideas for the New York issue?
What, you mean, like, to write an article?
- Yeah, unless you're too busy with... - Oh, no!
No, I would love to write an article.
Actually, I've been working on this concept
about the unsung heroes of New York,
people who do the toughest jobs.
And we could showcase their uniforms for a fashion angle.
"New York's 10 Most Thankless Jobs."
- Sounds perfect. - Really?
Mmm-hmm.
(CHUCKLES) Wow, thanks. Okay, great. Well, I'll get to work.
Oh, and, Matt, I'm really glad that we, you know.
Yeah, me, too.
Oh, hey, Matt! I really like your haircut.
Just looks so healthy, makes me want to pull it!
(CHUCKLES) Actually, I didn't get a haircut.
Ow, wow. That kind of hurts. Thank you.
Bye.
Oh, my God, Mandy, you were, like, five seconds away
from flipping his omelet right here on the desk.
(GASPS) You love him.
Please. He's tainted. Kissing him would be like kissing Betty.
(GASPS)
(BOTH GAGGING)
- Oh, Betty. - Yes?
Daniel's been looking for you.
He wants you to meet the new assistant.
Oh! He picked someone? Yay! Is it Gavin?
I don't think so.
Hi, are you Daniel's new assistant?
Lexie, like, "Sexy."
Oh, I see. Um... Well, I'm Betty, like, "Confetti!"
I'm Daniel's old assistant, so I'm more than happy to help you.
- I can show you how things work. - I know how things work.
I'm sure you'll be fine.
Hey, Betty. Oh, did you meet Lexie yet?
Lexie, like, "Sexy"? Yes, we met. Daniel!
- What? - What happened to Gavin?
Of all the people HR sent over, that's who you picked?
Looks had nothing to do with it.
I can't believe you would even think that. I'm a widower, Betty.
You certainly didn't pick her because she's friendly.
Well, maybe she's just intimidated by you.
I mean, I told her she had some pretty big shoes to fill.
She nailed the interview. Totally helpful.
Let me get that for you.
I mean, just because she's pretty doesn't mean she's not qualified.
You should know, judging a book by its cover works both ways.
I'm sure if you think she's capable, then she'll be great.
Where the hell have you been?
Can't I go out to get some frozen yogurt?
If you can go a couple of weeks without murdering any boyfriends.
(EXHALES)
Did you talk to anyone?
You know me. Just get one frozen yogurt in me
and I just tell all my secrets.
Is this a joke to you?
You will not be laughing when we're both in jail, young lady.
- Mom, it was 20 minutes. - I ask you to do one thing, stay put.
Nico, after everything I've done for you.
Boarding school in France, taking you in when you needed help...
I'm sorry, it won't happen again.
You're right, it won't happen again,
because from now on, you don't leave my side.
That's it. Now you just type in your password right there,
and that's how you check your e-mail.
So, what's my password again?
- BOTH: "lgnacio Rules." - Just wanted to hear you say that.
(TAPPING ON KE YBOARD)
Hey, look at that!
Guess papi's more modern than you thought.
Yes, congratulations. You have mastered e-mail.
Welcome to 1993.
Hey, I think it's very cool that you're learning to use the computer.
You are in a mood.
(HILDA SIGHS)
- What? - It's Archie.
I never get to see him anymore. He's too busy campaigning
and canvassing the neighborhood.
I'll tell you one neighborhood he isn't canvassing,
if you know what I mean.
(GROANS)
What? It's passion.
Without it, relationships fizzle, and I don't want that to happen to us.
(SIGHS)
Maybe he's not attracted to me anymore.
What, are you crazy? Look at you.
Yeah, that would be pretty crazy.
(HILDA CHUCKLES)
Mi hija, more coffee? You're gonna be up all night.
It's the only way I'm gonna make it through.
I have all this work to do
and I haven't even started writing my article.
Just have the people below you do it.
- Isn't that what editors do? - Justin, I'm a junior editor.
There's no one lower than me in my department.
There is always someone lower than you.
In junior high, the drama kids seemed like the bottom of the food chain,
but we weren't. There was always the band
and the Renaissance Fair nerds.
I did Renaissance Fair! I was one of the Queen's dancers!
So, Betty, who's below you?
There is a pool of assistants that junior editors can use,
but I don't want it to look like I can't handle my own work.
Mi hija, it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help.
Margaret, I know you hate your life,
but does everything you pick out have to be so dreary?
Don't come back until you get it right.
Great pep talk! Everyone looked real scared.
Hey, Willie, can I talk to you about something?
I just ran into Tall Paul from styles
who was talking to Fat Pat from accounting
who heard on good authority from Gay Renee...
Oh, just say it!
Hartley and Claire were having dinner with Isabelle Besset last night!
(INHALES SHARPLY)
Word is she's replacing you. What are we gonna do?
What's the plan? Blackmail?
I've been trying to get dirt on Isabelle for years.
She's clean as a whistle.
(GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION)
Then what? Hartley and Claire think you're the enemy.
Marc! We will just have to convince them that I'm not the enemy,
remind them I'm a team player.
(CHUCKLES)
- You're serious? - Yes!
I can turn on the charm if I want.
While I'm on shaky ground, it wouldn't kill me to kiss Claire's bony ass.
So, your plan is being nice?
Yes.
I'm just gonna give you some space,
some time, so you can hatch up something else.
Okay.
Speaking of things you've hatched, Nico is here.
Yes, I brought her in to learn about fashion.
Go grab her a chair. She'll be quiet as a mouse.
Okay, sure.
So, Nico, what you been doing since boarding school?
What brings you back?
Wilhelmina? I'm sorry to interrupt.
Don't be sorry. Being sorry takes time. Just spit it out.
Well, I've requested an assistant from the pool,
but HR says you have to sign off on it.
But you never stay with your mom for this long. Is it boy trouble?
Didn't you meet some guy backpacking through Europe?
Whatever happened to him?
You need an assistant? Done. Walk this way.
Really? Wow, thank you! I have so much editorial work.
I had no idea that... Oh, I thought we were walking.
We're here. Marc, I need to reassign you for a few days.
- Reassign me? - Oh, no, no. No, no, no. I...
Yes. Betty here needs an assistant, and you are it.
I cannot be Betty's assistant!
It goes against the natural order of things. She-diculous!
I made my decision, Marc.
Is this because I told you about a certain French editor
who might be replacing you? Do not punish the messenger, Willie!
It's a good learning experience for Nico to man the desk.
Besides, you're always complaining
that you want more editorial responsibility,
and Betty needs help with the feature.
Um...
You know what? I can do this by myself.
Betty, you might have been a star assistant, but as an editor,
you have failed to produce one single item for this magazine.
You want help? Here it is.
I don't want to hear another word about it.
Betty's in charge, so shut up and get out!
- (MOUTHING) I want to... - I said get out!
- Very mature. - Just because
I'm your temporary assistant,
does not mean I'm getting you coffee, got it?
- I could have been an editor at V! - V?
A certain magazine whose name shall not be said, rhymes with "rogue"?
Dante Nelli Jr. Himself offered me a job.
Dante Nelli Jr., a man so fabulous, he wears a kaftan every day of the year.
And I said, "No, thanks, Dante, I'd rather be at Mode
- "doing grunt work for Betty Suarez!" - You know what, Marc?
This is awkward for me, too, but I could actually use your help.
I need to trim 100 words from the Trends column.
- Maybe you could help me with that! - I could do that in my sleep!
Hey, Lexie, I'm gonna pop down to the cafeteria
- to have lunch with my friend Natalie. - I'm on the phone.
- What was it you were saying? - Oh! Uh...
Okay. Anyway, I'll be back in an hour or so. Okay?
Sorry, my new boss. Yabbering on about something.
Mother, would you please take off your sunglasses? It's embarrassing.
(WILHELMINA EXHALES)
I can't believe you dragged me down here.
What kind of sad people eat in cafeterias?
Hello, hello! Wilhelmina!
Well, well. Scooch over there a second, would you, please?
- Thank you. - Wow, Claire! What a nice surprise.
- This is my daughter, Nico. - Hello, Nico.
- NICO: Hello. - It's nice to meet you, dear.
Surprised to see you down here, Wilhelmina.
What are you, eating amongst the commoners?
(LAUGHING)
You're too funny!
I would bust a rib if I hadn't had them all removed!
Could we talk business for just a minute?
We like the New York issue, but we are a little concerned about sales.
Now, Cal has an idea, so try to keep an open mind about this.
WILHELMINA: (SCOFFS) Get on with it, you old bag.
Well, every book or movie I see these days is about vampires.
It just... It's a total cash cow.
Now, what if we put a vampire on the cover of Mode?
WILHELMINA: You've gotta be kidding me.
(CHUCKLES) Hmm.
So, the New York theme becomes "Gothic Gotham."
Keep the fashion, but give our cover girl some fangs.
WILHELMINA: Worst idea ever. Oh, wait, it's my turn to talk.
- (LAUGHING) I love it! - You do?
Cal and I thought we might get some pushback from you on this.
I know a great idea when I hear one.
Wilhelmina Slater is and will always be a team player.
I am crazy for Tater Tots. You want one?
Uh, I don't know if that can be called grief eating.
- You're in way too good of a mood. - You know what? I am.
I've been going to hear this guy give these inspirational talks, and...
- Yeah? - I don't know. He's kind of great.
He teaches you how to cope with all sorts of stuff.
Addiction, divorce. Mmm.
If you're curious, there's actually a talk this afternoon about losing loved ones.
Wow, "the Community of the Phoenix.
"Rise up from the ashes of your life and soar!"
You think it's cheesy, New Agey? I know, I know. Forget the brochure.
It's really been helping me work through some stuff.
(SCOFFS)
Okay, you just scoffed at me.
I'm not, not scoffing.
Okay, whatever. You know what? Never mind.
You're probably not ready for it anyway.
Oh, and what makes you think I'm not ready?
Of course I'm ready! Besides, what can it hurt, right?
Right.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Hi, Hilda. - Shh!
Hi! Do you remember that Halloween when I was the sexy superhero?
Remember all those guys were groping me?
Yeah. That was the year I went as DNA.
Oh, yeah, that was sad. Anyway, where are those sassy boots?
- Why? - I am gonna text Archie
a sexy picture of myself, you know, put a little air in his tires.
Hilda, sexting?
What, please! It's not like I'm gonna be nude.
It's gonna be tasteful, PG-13.
I'm not giving away the whole fruit basket, Betty, just the nectarines.
Classy. The boots are in the attic. I've gotta go, bye.
Bye!
(CLICKS)
While you were on your personal call, I finished the Trends column.
Oh!
You cut the whole intro?
You know what? I don't miss it. Good idea.
Great idea.
(SIGHS)
- What? - Nothing.
It's just that it's bad enough I have to watch you get promoted above me
without having any knowledge of fashion,
but now I have to have your ineptitude rubbed in my face.
You know what, Marc? I'm not gonna keep having this argument with you.
I know I'm not perfect, but Daniel and Wilhelmina picked me for a reason.
Yeah. Daniel's name is on the building and you two are lovers.
You know, I have half a mind to march into Daniel's office right now
and put this issue to rest once and for all.
I would love to see the look on your face
when Daniel says they gave me the job
because they thought I would be a better editor than you.
Okay, I would love to hear him say those words.
- Fine! - Fine!
Fine!
- No, you're both so qualified, it was... - Just give us the truth.
Your vote trumped Wilhelmina's, right? Because you're a Meade.
Or was it simply that I had more potential as an editor?
It was a very hard decision for us to make.
Why are you sparing their feelings, Daniel?
We tossed a coin.
And you got your job, Betty, because you were tails.
Now, you know I wanted you in this job.
The coin toss, it's the only way to break the impasse.
I know, I know. It's just, the only thing keeping me going
was the feeling that I actually deserve this.
Betty, wait, wait, wait. You do deserve this, believe me.
Yeah, I know. I know.
Good. Look, I have to run to my layout meeting.
- Are you sure you're gonna be all right? - Yeah. Yes.
All right.
Hey, Tails! I'm so happy that we cleared that up.
You're not better than me, you're just lucky!
You're nothing more than tails, the buttocks of a quarter.
Oh! Hey, guys. Betty, how's your article going?
Great! I've already set up a bunch of interviews
with some of the toughest working people in the city,
and I'm going down there to see firsthand.
Great, and while you're down there,
why don't you see if they'll let you actually do some of the jobs?
Oh! Okay, like a first-person piece?
Yeah, and you should wear all the humiliating clothes that they wear.
Take lots of pictures of it to document the whole thing.
That's a great idea, Marc.
See, some people just know how to think like an editor.
Can you get my messages for me, please?
Thank you.
Hello, Mr. Candidate! Did you get the picture that I sent you?
- Yes, I got it, and so did everyone else! - What?
You hit "Reply all" to one of my campaign emails, Hilda!
That picture went to my entire distro list!
Oh, my God!
Hello? Hey, Hilda!
ARCHIE: Hilda, this is the absolute worst thing
that could happen at this point in my campaign.
- This is terrible. - Just checking my e-mail.
Archie, Archie, you've gotta get that e-mail back. I'm not decent!
I can't get it back! And now everyone, including the kids I volunteer with,
are opening up their e-mails and finding a picture of your boobs!
"Lgnacio Rules."
I can't talk right now, okay? Just meet me later, okay?
- Okay. - Hey, I got something from you!
It's a picture! Where are my reading glasses?
No!
- Hey, Lexie, how about a cup of coffee? - Oh, yeah, I'd love one, thanks.
Um... Okay.
- Finished your fact-checking. - Thanks.
So, you're getting her coffee now?
Yeah, you know what? I don't think it's working out so well with Lexie.
Which is weird because I'm usually such a good judge of character.
- Yeah. - I picked you, didn't I?
Ah! No, not exactly. Your father picked me.
Precisely so that you wouldn't do what you always do,
which is hire an assistant that you want to sleep with.
- Really? - Is that why you hired me?
- Hey, Lexie! - You're disgusting!
No, no. No.
Oh, my God, I didn't know she was right there!
Do you want me to go say something to her?
No, you're busy. My problem. I can handle it.
(GROANS)
Lexie, I really need to apologize to you.
You heard something out of context and I really want you to know
that's not the reason I hired you.
And I promise you, the more you get to know me,
the more you'll realize I'm just not like that, okay?
(HEART BEATING)
(INAUDIBLE)
- What is wrong with you? - No, no. No!
You think you can just grab me?
It was an accident. I was trying to reach for your shoulder.
- You dirty old man! - No, no, Lexie, I'm sorry!
Old? What...
(EXHALES)
- Tails! - Will you stop doing that?
Come on, it's time for you to do the 10 worst jobs in New York City!
(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Mr. Badlani? Hi, I'm Betty Suarez.
We spoke on the phone. I'm here to be your hot dog hostess.
"Taj Ma Hot Dog.
"Delicious meat-substitute hot dogs."
- Sounds tasty. - Thank you.
Now, I know it's chilly today,
but it can get mighty sticky inside that hot dog suit.
I'm sorry, there's an actual hot dog suit?
Oh, just when I thought this day couldn't get sweeter.
Now, which one of you is going to be the wiener
and which one is going to be the bun?
- What? - It's a two-man costume.
You can't have a wiener without the bun.
(CHUCKLES) Oh!
- You heard the man. - No!
You wear the stupid costumes. It's your article. You're the editor.
You're right, Marc, I am the editor.
And while I've been doing the hardest jobs in New York all day long,
you have been doing nothing at all!
But you heard Wilhelmina, I'm in charge.
So suit up 'cause I'm the boss, and you're the bun!
- Well, what do you think? - You look great.
(CHUCKLES)
But please don't eat in front of the customers.
A hot dog eating a hot dog? It freaks them out.
Okay. Well, what do I do?
Greet customers? Hand out some coupons?
That doesn't seem so hard.
Ow!
Sometimes that happens.
- Now where is my bun? - Bun, we need you!
We can't have a hot dog without a bun!
Aw, there you are!
Unlike you, Betty, who wears ridiculous get-ups on a daily basis,
I have a reputation to protect.
Come on, Marc, you look adorable. Good enough to eat!
(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING)
- What the hell is that? - It's the hot dog music!
Come on, I'll show you the dance steps.
CLAIRE: Hmm.
It still doesn't read "vampire" to me.
Maybe sharper fangs and
maybe we should add some blood to the front of the dress.
Oh, I agree! Good idea, Claire. Mmm-hmm.
Don't you dare.
- (GASPS) Nico! What are you doing? - It wasn't on purpose! I...
Don't you have enough blood on your hands?
Mom, do not get all pissy with me just because you hate this vampire idea.
God, it's not my fault!
Actually, it is. I'm hanging on by a thread,
doing everything I can to keep my job.
Because without my job, I can't help you.
It's all for you. So I'm making nice,
even though this vampire shoot is ridiculous!
Ridiculous? What happened to loving the concept?
I do! I am 100% on board. Team player!
We ran this idea by you because we wanted your blunt opinion.
Well, how the hell am I supposed to give you my honest opinion
knowing that Isabelle Besset can replace me any minute?
I had a feeling you might have heard about that.
- You want to know the truth? - Yes.
This is juvenile.
You put this on the cover, and it damages the brand.
Mode does not follow trends, we set them.
All right. I'll talk to Cal.
- You're agreeing with me? - Yes.
And now you do something for me. Trim the budget.
Start by cutting 10 pages of content.
Oh! And, Wilhelmina? Just do your job,
while you still have it.
(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING)
Okay, five, six, seven, eight!
(SINGING PROMOTIONAL SONG)
(SCREAMS)
(GROANING)
As much as I love giant wieners flying at me,
- this is a little outside my comfort zone. - You didn't even try to catch me, Marc!
It's not my fault you can't count. You were two full measures early!
- Oh, now I can't count. - No, you can't count.
And you can't dance. And you certainly can't edit a fashion magazine.
What is it with you, Marc?
You know, if the coin toss would have gone the other way,
if you would have been promoted, I would have just been happy for you.
- Why can't you just be happy for me? - Why should I be happy for you?
Yeah, of course the coin landed on you.
You're like the luckiest person in the world!
You have a great job, great family.
Multiple attractive men have wanted to date you, God knows why.
(EXHALES)
I can't catch a break. I'm always the bun.
- Come on, Marc, it's not that bad. - Don't "happy Betty" me!
You want to talk thankless jobs in New York City?
Try being Wilhelmina Slater's gofer for five years!
And the worst part of it is, I could have been editor
at the magazine whose name shall not be mentioned.
I could have been protégé to the most fashionable man in publishing.
My style icon, Dante Nelli Jr.
Yes?
- CLAIRE: You grabbed her boob? - No, I didn't grab it.
- I just... I sort of... I grazed it. - Daniel!
It was an accident! I was going to apologize!
We don't care how bad an assistant she is,
if you grabbed, grazed or looked sideways at that boob,
you cannot fire her.
You'll have a big lawsuit on your hands.
(EXHALES)
I'm so, so sorry. I feel terrible about this!
The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.
- I just, I didn't think... - That's right, Hilda. You didn't think.
I know you didn't mean for this to happen,
but do you know what photos like this do to campaigns?
This is a big embarrassment for me!
Well, nobody could be as embarrassed about this as me!
It's my picture people are talking about!
Well, then why did you do it?
You've been so busy lately, I just wanted us to be closer!
You know, I wanted you to be excited about us again!
I'm sorry if I'm an embarrassment to you.
- I'm surprised you remembered me! - Of course I do.
It's not often that someone refuses a job from us,
but you said you had to pursue your dream,
which apparently is selling hot dogs.
Oh! Uh...
No. I don't work here. I'm still at Mode.
They finally made you editor?
Ah. Still picking up Wilhelmina's dry cleaning.
Actually, Marc was so valuable at Mode
that we just added him to the features department.
We're doing a story right now on the hardest jobs in New York.
That's why we're in these crazy costumes.
Features? Well, good for you. Congratulations.
You know, I like to stay current with up-and-coming young editors.
Brunch sometime? Have your assistant set it up.
- Actually, she's not... - I would be happy to.
- You didn't have to do that. - I know.
- Thanks. - I just figured you were due
for a change in luck.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
It's you.
Emergency editors' meeting at 4:00 p.m.
- That's in seven minutes! - Well, we have to get back to the office!
I'll get the cab. You go back to Mr. Badlani,
tell him, and get our clothes.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hold the door! Thank you!
Come on, hurry! Where's my clothes?
Um, I might have accidentally trashed them.
- What? - In my defense,
I was sort of hating you at the time. Here, let me...
- Don't help me! - Betty, don't be like that.
You know, every single time
I think there's a glimmer of a decent person in there,
you always seem to prove me wrong.
And now I get to go back to the office dressed like a hot dog,
where everybody already thinks I'm a joke. Thank you!
Close the door, please!
Why do we have to accept that our loved ones are gone?
They're with us always, and if we deny that,
it'll only prolong our pain. So I say, reject acceptance.
(DANIEL CHUCKLES)
You don't agree with me?
You don't want to be here, do you?
- No, he doesn't. - Yes, I do.
I'm offering you a chance at an elevated relationship with someone you lost,
but you can only achieve that connection
when you're honest with yourself about what you want.
And you can't even be honest with me.
Or can you? Do you want to be here?
Fine. I don't want to be here.
Congratulations. You just healed a part of yourself.
(SCOFFS)
- You're scoffing at that? - I wasn't scoffing.
He was, he was scoffing. He's been doing it all day.
- Stop it. - What? I'm trying to help you.
Fine. Yes, I was scoffing, but come on.
"Honesty heals"? Don't you think that sounds a little simplistic?
Well, people have always underestimated the power of simplicity.
Tell you what, go and try being honest in your daily life,
exactly when you think you shouldn't be.
And if I'm right and it frees you up in some way, come back.
And if it doesn't, fine.
Accept that the person you love is gone forever and good luck with that.
Amanda, can we talk?
I need to tell you something and it's kind of a secret.
- What is it? - Come here.
No, closer.
Closer.
Mmm. Amanda, you're such a good kisser!
(SCREAMING)
It's just a hot dog suit.
Look, do you know if the editors' meeting started yet?
Amanda?
(SCREAMING)
Have you seen... Have you seen Betty?
Betty? Listen, Wilhelmina is cutting 10 pages of content for budget.
Everyone is fighting to keep their stuff in.
I look ridiculous! Do I have time to change?
If you want to save your article, we'd better get in there quick.
Lexie, can you get the Book from the art department, please?
Get it yourself. You know how to grab things.
Wait, Lexie. Lexie, hey.
Let me be totally honest with you.
The only reason I hired you is because you're hot.
In fact, you're crazy hot.
And I'm a man who likes to look at a beautiful woman. So, sue me.
(CHUCKLING) No, no, he's just kidding.
No, no, no, don't, don't sue him. Daniel, what are you doing?
I'm telling the truth. You're not right for this job, Lexie.
You're mean, you're impatient,
you walk around as if everyone's below you,
and they are because you're 20 feet tall.
You're not an assistant, Lexie. I think you would make a terrific model.
- A model? - Yeah, think about it.
You shouldn't be behind a desk.
You should be sprawled across a desk,
dressed in skin-tight couture, looking hungry on the cover of a magazine!
Oh, God.
You know, I always thought I was too pretty to be a secretary,
but girls always hated me when I said it out loud.
Okay, well say it, then. Say, "I am a model."
I am a model!
(EX CLAIMS)
Thank you! I have to go tell everyone that I know now.
(GIGGLES)
(CLAIRE SCOFFING)
Wow.
What the hell was that?
Honesty.
I'm sorry, Jill. You can't convince me that leggings are pants.
Your article's out. Who's next?
Whatever that is, it's cut.
Wait, wait, doesn't Betty get a chance to defend her article?
- Everybody else did. - All right. You have 30 seconds, go.
Okay, my article is about the toughest jobs in New York.
Seems a little dry.
Maybe it could use some mustard.
(ALL SNICKERING)
I'm sorry, Betty, I don't see it fitting in Mode.
Maybe I had to be there.
Wait, Willie! But you could be if we recreated it for you!
- (WHISPERS) What are you doing? - I'm saving you. Come on, dance!
(SINGING PROMOTIONAL SONG)
That was the most humiliating thing I've ever seen.
Yes, these uniforms are ridiculous,
but this whole city is full of uniforms.
And inspiration for fashion comes from the most unlikely places.
Like bike messengers in bright Lycra.
Or the epaulets on a policeman's uniform.
Trash collectors were wearing jumpsuits
way before they showed up on every runway last spring.
Also, look at these funny pictures of Betty wearing the uniforms.
I can't run those pictures.
Then instead of Betty, picture a supermodel.
Hmm. Congratulations, Betty. You're in.
Wow. I mean, look how good these came out.
Oh! Here's Lexie pulling the pedicab.
Yep, the camera loves "Lexie, like sexy."
I have no idea what I was thinking hiring her as my assistant.
I mean, come on, that was something old Daniel would do.
Come on, you made a mistake. You're only human.
So, why is it you'll cut me some slack, but you won't do the same for yourself?
What do you mean?
I mean, this is your first piece for the magazine as editor,
and it's a great spread.
- You're not even the least bit excited. - I'm excited!
But?
It's just, I've been fighting and fighting with Marc,
trying to prove to him that I deserve to be the editor.
And then he's the one who saved the day.
Betty, this whole piece was your idea.
Why don't you know you're good at this? You're great at this.
I don't know, maybe because I was tails.
Look, Betty, some people get the job because of the flip of a coin, all right?
Some people get the job because their father owns the company.
It doesn't matter how you get it. It matters what you do with it.
(SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
Hilda, can I borrow you? This will only take a minute.
I'll be right back.
ANNOUNCER ON TV: And now to candidate Archie Rodriguez.
Now, a lot of hubbub has been made over a certain photo of my girlfriend.
And I just wish the press would stop showing this photo.
- (EX CLAIMS) That's not my best angle. - Just watch.
Everyone's been asking me if I want to apologize to the voters.
But the truth is, the only person who deserves an apology is my girlfriend.
She had her privacy invaded, and I'm sorry I wasn't more understanding.
As for the voters, they're just gonna have to accept the fact
that my girlfriend is sexy.
(LAUGHS)
And I will not apologize for that.
Archie! I can't believe you did that!
Yeah, and we got the latest polls. And thanks to your sexy picture, Hilda,
I'm more popular than ever. I'm in the lead!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, that's fantastic!
Oh, my God, Archie, you're gonna win!
(HILDA CHUCKLING)
Wait, now? I have customers.
They can wait.
Mrs. Ramirez, I'll be back in 11 minutes!
I brought us a treat. Frozen yogurt!
Chocolate! My favorite!
Mine, too.
(SNIFFS) Mmm.
Frozen yogurt in the middle of the day? What's the occasion?
Momma is keeping her job.
Isabelle Besset turned it down. And for the life of me, I don't know why.
You would think that Mode would be a step up from French Elle.
Well, I heard she got a call from an editor at French Mode.
Something about how difficult Claire and Hartley are to work for.
Hmm.
I don't remember bribing anyone from Mode France.
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
You?
You devious little minx!
I guess all those years at French boarding school paid off.
Mom, I'm just so sorry about dragging you into all this.
And I figured after all you've done for me, I owe it to you.
Oh, Nico, my darling daughter, I would do anything for you.
And I have a feeling everything is gonna be all right.
(CHUCKLES)
(CAMERA CLICKING)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Oh! I thought you swore you'd never get me coffee.
Don't get too excited, I put it on your card.
Oh! I want to show you the final edit of the article.
You know, Betty, you're a great writer and all,
but I'm not exactly in a reading mood right now.
- Can you just give me the summary? - Can you just read the top?
You're sharing your byline with me?
(EX CLAIMS)
In five years at Mode, I've never had a byline.
Why are you so nice to me?
Either one of us could have gotten this promotion.
And right before Daniel told me, he had this look on his face,
and I thought, "That's it, they're giving it to Marc."
I was sure of it. I mean, I say I would have been happy for you,
but I don't know.
You would've been happy.
(MARC INHALES)
(GROANS)
- Were you just about to hug me? - Shut up, no.
- You were about to hug me! - Okay.
(CHUCKLES)
Listen, can we talk about this byline? Shouldn't my name come first?
Don't push it.